Posted in Uncategorized

Accepting the mirror

As I’ve gotten older I have finally realized that I am tired of fighting the battle of myself. As long as I can remember, I have struggled with my weight. As I’ve aged, I’ve also been afflicted with numerous health problems. I have also said that if I had known that my body was going to fall apart this severely by this stage in my life; I would have lived much differently. I would have lived bigger, more spontaneously and probably a little more dangerously (not a good idea). The point is that life is too short and too difficult to add the additional stress and pressure of looking, weighing, acting a certain way to please others. The only people that need to be pleased with us are God and ourselves.

If you are pre-disposed to be overweight- accept it. If you are pre-disposed to various health problems live your your life accordingly while you still have the choice. Some are pre-disposed by genetics,by culture or by lifestyle. Be honest with yourself. If you see previous generations of overweight relatives; odds are good you will struggle with your weight. So rather than fighting it, embrace it.

I can look at the women in my genetic bloodline and realize I am destined to be overweight. I can’t change my genetics. What I can change is how I let my weight affect my health. I have maintained the same weight for over 12 years with no proven link to health problems I have experienced. When I did experience problems, it’s been while on prescribed medications that can cause said side effects.  I cannot control or change the destruction done by arthritis on my joints but I can manage my lifestyle to help with it’s pain and inflammation.

Personally, I am the type of person that cannot stand to do nothing. I am goal oriented and thrive when I am busy. Unfortunately, my body doesn’t always cooperate. I push myself through the pain until my body crashes. My doctor called it the ‘push-crash’ which defines my lifestyle. When I am in a crash (severe pain/fatigue/insomnia) I force myself to get moving as soon as tolerable because if I don’t get up- I may not get up again.

In reality it doesn’t matter if your are bone skinny or frumpy (fat/round/lumpy)- what matters is your health. I have given up fighting my weight and feeling bullied by doctors, society and others to lose weight to be ‘normal’. Pooh on normal. That’s boring. I have experienced more health problems trying to force my body to be something different than God created. I no longer color my hair. I have gray hairs. I earned them. After spending two decades as a big pharma guinea pig; I am done. Doctors prescribe one drug to treat the symptoms and then another pill to counter the side effects of the first pill. Better yet, is how doctors continually increase a dosage or move you to another newer drug- just keeping everyone more reliant upon big pharma. Enough.

I am a 50 year old grandmother; I am not trying to recapture my youth. I do not need to dress like a 20 something, wear things or act in a way that is inappropriate for my age. Those of you that do- let me be the bearer of bad news: you look ridiculous. As an adult if your proud of the fact that you can dress like your child or share their clothes, music or entertainment- that is just sad. You are in denial and someone that loves you should have already told you that you need to stop. I will tell you for them. Wake up! Your teenage or young adult children are not excited to be your bff- it’s probably  embarrassing to them. You cannot reset the clock or go back in time. Accept yourself as you truly are in life.

As a parent, if you have young children that are pre-disposed to weight or health problems later in life; teach them now while they are young to eat healthy, to avoid the sugary junk food that will someday catch up to their genetics and create weight problems that they too will struggle with the rest of their lives.

I applaud those that have beaten the battle of the bulge on their own. As a society we need to stop trying to be accepted by those around us all the time and measuring our self worth based on that approval.

Look in the mirror. What do you see? Be honest. Once you stop focusing on all the negatives you see- realize this: You are exactly as God made you. God does not make mistakes. More importantly, you are beautiful and wonderful in God’s eyes. Surround yourself with those that see you through God’s eyes and you will find that you too are much more accepting of that person you see in the mirror.




I am a charismatic christian,constitutional conservative and proud American.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s